Miracle on 34th Street ☆☆☆☆ (4/5) 12/25/18

Santa’s a scene stealer…

The filmmakers clearly knew Ed Gwen was going to be a classic movie Santa. Unfortunately, the focus on him leads to some wildly uneven storytelling and the careless treatment of the supporting cast dilutes really nice performances from Maureen O’Hara and Alvin Greenman, among others.

Almost everything about Miracle is corny, dated, or both, but it’s undeniably cute and charming.

Connie Willis has a fun short story that champions Miracle over It’s a Wonderful Life. That’s crazy talk. Wonderful might have a complicated and perhaps questionable conservatism at its core – as well as cinema’s most unlikely swimming pool – but Miracle’s valuing of faith over common sense is at least as problematic. I’ll take It’s a Wonderful Life any day.

The Bodyguard (TV) ☆☆☆ (2.5/5) 12/22/18

Come for the ridiculous plot, but stay for the suspenseful set pieces.

The performances are good and I was especially impressed by Nina Toussaint-White, who always found ways to add depth to her rather stock character, but the plotting is murky and has a real fondness for cliches. And, gosh, but there are a lot of plot holes. In the last episode, the hunky but unreliable hero mutters, “Only one person in this conspiracy knew about my children.” DAVID! LITERALLY EVERYBODY IN THE CONSPIRACY KNEW ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN. It’s not like they were a secret. But that’s all the justification a story like this one needs for a random character to suddenly give an evil chuckle and explain their sinister motivation to the police. It’s pretty dumb.

Still, even as I became increasingly aware that The Bodyguard wasn’t as smart as it wanted me to think it was, every episode succeeded in thrilling me at least once with some solid suspense.

I’m a sucker for bullshit like that and so The Bodyguard gets a cautious recommendation.

Nina Forever ☆☆☆ (3/5) 12/21/18

Hi. I’m posting reviews mainly for my own pleasure and to record my reactions… but your opinions are welcome. Let’s start now.

Nina Forever gets points for originality and sincerity. How often do you see an attempted threesome with a dead ex? But I wish Nina (the character) had a little more wit, and Nina Forever (the film) a little more gore. Also, a movie with so much sex and so little nudity is dicking around in a way it shouldn’t. If you’re going there, go all the way.

Abigail Hardingham is quite good, but Cian Barry is adorable. I really liked him a lot.

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